dashboard special

I commute to work everyday. And today, for lack of colorful old ladies and inspiring radio music, what fell under my scrutiny was the driver's seat. Specifically, the windshield and dashboard. All of us who take public transport look towards the front of the jeep. Do you actually see what's usually there, or do you gaze blankly until it's time to yell "Para!"?



1. The rosary. It's a staple. It hangs from the rearview mirror. Not only on jeeps, but also on cars, buses, tricycles, and trucks. In some cases there's also a tasselled plastic medallion of Our Lady of Good Voyage. My husband, though not particularly religious, plays it safe. The dangling rosary is from Jerusalem, and the medallion is from the church of Our Lady of Manaoag in Pangasinan.

2. The sticker. Often it's related to #1, because it reinforces the prayer of everyone on the road: God bless our trip. No matter if the driver is a loud-mouthed, foul-mannered, reckless son of a bitch, the sticker right in front of him proclaims it: God bless our trip. I often whisper a P.S. at the end: Lord, let me reach my destination in one piece.

3. The other stickers. Let's recite them, shall we? Barya Lang Po Sa Umaga, on a sticker sponsored by Hotel Sogo. No Smoking. Victoria Court. 91.5 Big Radio. Yes FM. Love Radio. That's for the jeeps. For the FX and commuter vans, let's add Every Drop Counts, Universal Studios, the logo of the Playboy Bunny. And for the cars, that's where you boast Baby on Board, Lawyer on Board, Doctor on Call, and the various universities where you studied. I had to fight to have one sticker of Ateneo Graduate School of Business somewhere in my husband's van. He didn't want any sticker anywhere, aside from the ones issued by LTO and the subdivision. I won, though, but by a slight margin. He pasted it in the van's rear window, partially obscured by the wiper. And he promised to remove it as soon as I graduate, so I'm postponing my thesis.

4. The nodding, bobbing things. There's the plastic dog that bobs its head and tail. There's the gold cat that waves its paw. And there's the little flower that looks suspiciously like what you'd see in Plants vs Zombies, which waves its leaves around. You can buy them from vendors along Roxas Boulevard, along with feather dusters and windshield shades.

5. The hanging stuffed toys. They're more common in vans, FX and buses, but yes, even jeeps sport them. They're the ones that you get from Tom's World, where you drop a token in the slot and let those claws come down on one plush toy. You used to get teddy bears and little dogs and Hello Kitty. Now you get Ben 10 and Doraemon and Spongebob. The jeep I took this morning had a Dora, so grimy with dirt it's actually gray. My daughter would have a hemorrhage if she saw it; it actually looks like a voodoo doll. And the taxis? They used to have all seven of Snow White's dwarfs! Now it's-- ehem-- Angry Birds!!

6. The painted decorations. If you've ridden the long noisy jeeps that ply the routes of Antipolo, Cainta, and Tanay, you've seen them. Flashy painting on the jeep bodies, pounding music that rattles your teeth, dark interiors with eagles and dragons and tigers on the ceiling, alongside images of Mama Mary. But the ordinary jeeps and taxis have their walls and ceilings printed with the imaginative names of all their family members. Mario and Elena and Mario Jr. and Marlena and Mario III. I've ridden one Pasig-Quiapo jeep which took it one level up; it had logos of airlines in the ceiling: JAL and Thai Airways and PAL and Emirates. And you don't have to guess it: proclaimed on the side of the jeep, in bold colors, was KATAS NG OFW! Classic!

7. The witticisms. They're so commonplace you barely notice them. They hang on those little painted boards right behind the driver's head, along with the sign that says No Student ID, No Discount.

God knows Hudas not pay. (Oh, Lord, forgive us for being predominantly Catholic.)
Ang katok ay sa pinto, ang sutsot ay sa aso, ang para ay sa tao.
Forgive me my darling, kung ikaw ang aking naging ikalimang first love.

My jeep this morning had this classic invitation: Basta driver, sweet lover!
But I didn't count on the disclaimer below it:

Miss subukan mo akong ibigin, pag ika'y nagutom saka mo ako sisihin.