for senen

Our classmate Senen is getting married!

I'm not going to give him any wishes for a peaceful married life. Get real. Instead I'm giving him this list, compiled over my own ten years of (mostly) peaceful marriage. If he takes this by heart, I can guarantee a measure of peace until at least his tenth wedding anniversary. :-)

Here goes:

Things I Wish Men Knew About Women:

1. Women need to be listened to.
2. They do not encourage rapists.
3. Perfume turns them on.
4. They crave romance and tenderness like drowning men crave life rafts.
5. They do flirt.
6. They like hearing 'I love you' but they have an ear for the words that ring true.
7. They need to have birthdays and anniversaries remembered with the same enthusiasm as boxing fight dates.
8. Their breasts need to be fondled, not mauled.
9. They do not get immense joy from cleaning kitchens and bathrooms.
10. They understand children intuitively, because the children grew under their hearts.
11. They cry, not because they're weak, but because they're in touch with their feelings.
12. They think with their minds but act with their hearts.
13. They can be like cotton candy -- sweet and soft outside, a hard stick inside.
14. To have husbands who are unfaithful is an injury to their souls.
15. They are all mothers at heart -- for small children and big men.
16. They like it better with a foreplay.
17. Menstrual periods do not make them crazy, unclean, or prone to attacks by rabid dogs.
18. They would sometimes like to give the flowers.
19. They like to be held when they're happy, when they're sad, and in-between.
20. They may not have looks that kill, but they can kill with a look.
21. They can feign indifference but can never hide pain, nor love for that matter.
22. They like having their new haircut noticed and commented on favorably, if not enthusiastically.
23. Making love thirty seconds after a woman has gotten dressed to go out is not spontaneous and fun.
24. They sometimes need to be left alone.
25. They need to be loved, desired, trusted, and respected, not just during courtship, but forever.