My mind is elsewhere. I am not sure why I feel... not unhappy, but dissatisfied, when everything seems to be going right. I have a job that pays well, a husband who likes peace and quiet, a kid who's growing up to be a little bit pampered but otherwise healthy and smart, my books. I feel like there's a lot of things I have left undone, that I just wake up in the morning, trudge off to work, then go home and flop down to bed, only to do the same things day after day. Yes, there's a certain satisfaction when I've put in a good day in the office, when I leave at 6 p.m. and know that I've squeezed in as much as I can, but when I really think about it, this is how my 24 hours get spent:
10 hours in the office
3.5 hours on the road
8 hours of sleep
I only have 2.5 hours for my family! I should do something about it. I've been promising to reform for the last two years, but until now my kid does her homework with the nanny, I wash the dishes only on VERY occasional weekends, I have not touched the laundry in about four months, and I haven't cooked dinner since New Year. (My bedroom score is also a bit low, but as I've said my husband is not the complaining type.) And still I lament about wanting to learn how to swim, or take photography classes, or go to sewing lessons, when it's the little things that I leave undone that give me the most grief.
Some time ago I wanted to know about the purpose of life. I read Rick Warren's 'The Purpose-Driven Life' and decided that the profound and mystical concepts of a life for God are a bit too deep for me. I read Deepak Chopra's 'The Angel is Near,' and it said that the purpose of life is life itself. Now that's a bit easier to digest. You take it one day at a time, give it your best shot, and have as few regrets as possible. That's also easier said than done.
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