Tuesday, February 19, 2013

day 22: how to make the charity ward your home

If you're a watcher for a long-term patient at the charity ward of the Orthopedic Center, here are some helpful tips.

1. Secure a sleeping space.  If you share the bed with your patient you run the risk of falling off the high bed and become a patient yourself.  You can sleep sitting up on a hard chair.  You can sleep on a cardboard under the patient's bed, which is more comfortable, since some watchers have installed an electric fan under the beds.

2. Get up early to beat the bathroom queue, since bath time is only 6:00 to 8:00 am.  Bring your own pail and dipper (there is none in the bathroom), and guard your shampoo sachets zealously.  Become a master of quick baths, and be willing to share the cubicle if the line is long.  Dispose of your dignity; the shower curtain is a shredded garbage bag.  Take breathing lessons.  The line for the single toilet is usually longer.

3. Don't worry about food.  There is a woman who takes food orders before lunch and collects the payments afterwards.  You can order lunch for two people for P50 pesos.  The food is delivered in styro packaging, neatly labeled with what's inside: 1 kanin, tokwa baboy.  At merienda time there is a vendor who walks down the corridor, shouting, "Camote cue! Turon! Ice candy!"

4. Be creative about doing the laundry. You can dry them in the ward terrace, but only at night, and be mindful of the space you take.  You can dry freshly-washed underwear under the beds, while you sleep at night.  The electric fans dry them up nicely.

5. Make a budget.  A lot of little expenses add up.  3 gallons of drinking water should be enough for two people for one week, but you have to buy the water in those 24-hour drugstores outside.  You'll need plenty of tissue paper and alcohol, some laundry soap and dishwashing paste, sachets of sandwich spread, 3-in-1 coffee mix, instant cup noodles, and packets of biscuits that your patient can nibble at 2:00am when sleep is elusive.

6. Make friends with other watchers.  They can watch your patient if you need to run out to fill a prescription.  They can also lend Tagalog pocketbooks and glossy magazines with Coco Martin on the cover, for the times when you're dying of boredom.

7. Take advantage of the interns.  They come in jolly little groups, very cheerful and eager.  They offer to give sponge baths and give you tokens, such as face towels, soap bars, and alcohol.  They poke and prod and chat you up and try to look knowledgeable, but they're a refreshing sight from those surly older nurses who've been around a hundred years and have seen every broken bone you can imagine.

8. Learn to become invisible.  When the doctors make their rounds with their retinue of assistants and interns and nurses-in-training, you blend into the walls.  You don't speak unless spoken to, you don't get in their way, you don't offer information about the patient. On that note, you don't undermine the authority of the attendants, the cleaners, and the nurses, some of whom will look at you as though you're a lower species of mammal.

9. Lift your patient's spirits. You can always chat with the other watchers, and therefore learn their sad stories. In turn, you can share them with your patient, and you can highlight those who have a sadder story than yours.  You've been in the ward three weeks? Oh, cheer up. The next bed has been here four months.  The one beyond her?  Six months.

10. Be thankful for the little things.  This is hard, but this will keep you going.  Among the many unfriendly staff, there will always be one who is kind.  There are complete strangers who will smile and say hi.  There are people who hold Mass in the corridor on Sunday afternoons.  Be thankful for the one test that turns out normal, the antibiotic that turns out unnecessary, the nurse who actually explains the situation, the other watcher who would offer to buy water for you, the doctor who takes the time to chat and joke around.  Count the little kindnesses, the little funny things in your day, while you're waiting for the big thing.  Like finally getting out of the darned hospital.  

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