the seaman's wife

This is for a guy named Alex.  A long, long time ago, he idly wondered if I could have been a seaman's wife.  I was flattered, and I laughed, and we went our separate ways.

Now that I'm older (and perhaps none the wiser), the question crossed my mind, in the manner that strange questions cross women's minds from time to time: What if I had become an equestrienne?  What if I had become a (heaven forbid) stripteaser?  What if I had married a seaman?

I think I would have been happy.  I wouldn't mind being alone so much, as I'm happier on my own.  My house would be big and pretty, with souvenirs from my husband' travels.  I would have the requisite 40-inch LED tv and a fierce speaker system in the living room.  I think I'll also insist on Waterford crystal in my dining table.

I would have all the Apple gadgets-- iPod and iPad and iPhone.  My children would have PSPs and collector's edition Barbie dolls.

I would be living in the province near my in-laws, so that my various brothers- and sisters-in-law could comment on my spending and report them to my husband.  I would be wearing gold jewelry when I go to the market.  The Avon, Natasha and Boardwalk ladies would love me.  Once a month, I'll go to the nearest SM mall to see the latest trends that my children could wear.

I would be working, but if I wanted P5,000-peso shoes I would ask my husband to send me money.  I would go to beauty parlors every week for a pedicure if I wanted, and take my children to Jollibee for breakfast Saturdays and Sundays because I can afford it.  And of course I'd have maids so I wouldn't have to do the laundry.

Once a year, I would meet my husband at the airport with a van-full of relatives.  We would troop to Duty-Free and buy a mountain of chocolates, cigarettes, perfume and Jack Daniels, for the relatives.  There would be visitors in the house for at least a week, and we'd do videoke and beer parties until they have all gotten tired of welcoming my husband back.

My children would be spoiled, and my husband and I would argue about discipline issues every time he comes home.  He would not know my children growing up, but he would shower them with gifts and toys that would be the envy of the neighborhood kids.

I wouldn't try so hard to bring in money, because my husband would get a fat salary.  I wouldn't dream big dreams for my children because they'd grow up comfortable.  I wouldn't plan on becoming a lawyer, because I could afford one.  I wouldn't want to travel to other places, because my husband will do the traveling for me and I will live through his stories of port calls and stormy seas and beer in different countries.

I'd be with my husband about two months a year, every year, until he either becomes captain or he retires.  Before he leaves I'd probably be at my wits' end, half hoping he'd leave so I could go back to my normal life, half hoping he didn't have to go so I could have a proper married life and have sex every night if I wanted.

I have nothing against seamen and seamen's wives.  I am surrounded by them all my life, and some of them are the finest men and women I've ever known.  This is just about me.  Maybe now, I'm exactly where I'm meant to be.  I have a job, I have kids, I have a husband who hopefully loves me back the same way I love him.  I have a Siamese cat, I have books, I have nice shoes.  I have just enough to be comfortable but not enough to keep me from wanting more. 


So Alex, if we ever meet again, there's your answer.  I would have been a happy wife, but you would hate me. :-)