state of fear

I finished reading State of Fear by Michael Crichton. The book revolves around the concept of global warming, how the threat might or might not exist, how it is hyped up by the media and environmental protection groups. As with some of Michael Crichton's books, it is filled with references to actual scientific journals and articles, graphs and very technical discussions that deals with the geothermal layer, the formation of clouds, cavitation technology, the movement of tides, temperature levels, tsunamis, the philosophy of 'state of fear,' and such stuff.

It is not a very compelling book. I read it over a period of two weeks (as opposed to Pet Sematary, which I read in a single sitting of 10 hours, with a few toilet breaks thrown in and a horrible migraine afterwards). The mind has to rest from a concept as big and as vague as global warming and its far-reaching (albeit fabricated) implications. It starts with a lawsuit to be filed on behalf of Vanuatu because it is in danger of being swallowed by the ocean because of the damage to the ecological balance brought about by global warming. Just recently I read that the island nation of Vanuatu indeed floods, but it's not solely because of the rising level of the ocean. There are factors such as it is built on a bedrock of coral, which is porous and is easily affected by rising tides, and the fact that it is slowly becoming industrialized and drainage systems have become clogged.

The novel does not make clear resolutions of the problems presented. What happened to the billionaire Mr. Morton after he was discovered alive after all? What happened to the issue of global warming? What about Nicholas Drake and his manipulations of the organization? Did our hero fall in love with Sarah or with Jennifer? Ted Bradley was eaten by cannibals, but his role in the whole thing was not exactly clear.

Did I like it? Not really. I liked his novel Prey better, if we're talking of nanoparticles and swarms and high-tech terrors. His novel Next is also a bit interesting, but not as hard to put down as the earlier ones like Jurassic Park and its sequel The Lost World.

the loving wife

My husband says is coming home late tonight. There was a time when I would have worried about his safety on the road, or about the friends he goes out with, but we've been through a lot of similar nights that it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm not worried if he chooses to come home drunk, or if he chooses to come home at all. Like a lot of things in married life, the best way to handle disappointment is not to expect too much.

Em's husband is cheating on her. They have a 20-year-old son. Em is now 48 years old; her husband is 9 years older. Em looks like she's 35, she's a devout Catholic, and a dedicated, old-fashioned wife who still believes they can grow old together even if she has known about the other woman for 3 years now. And one can ask: why do these things happen?

Dee's husband comes home from abroad once or twice a year. He came home last year, and on his first week home he went out and slept with a girl from a bar, while Dee woke up her policeman friend to help search for her husband whom she thought was held up or killed on a roadside somewhere.

It is a sorry excuse, but you often hear 'Men will always be men.' I don't mean it's been wired into them from the very beginning, but it is difficult to believe they will stay faithful. They are bound to cheat sooner or later, and intentionally or unintentionally hurt the wife. Who knows what they say or do when they're with friends? Or for that matter, who knows if they are really with friends when they stay out late or don't come home at all, citing overtime or field work? Who knows, while you're deluding yourself that the reason why there is less sex these days is because he is concerned about your pregnancy, when he could be busy exploring other dark and tight places ?

But you cannot sit back and anguish over the lies he might or might not have told you. You cannot lose sleep thinking where you went wrong, or what faults you had, or how ugly you have become to make him lose interest. In the end, the choice is still the wife's. You can choose to remain beautiful even if your heart is breaking, or you can prove to him that you've truly gotten ugly inside and out. You can hold your head high or you can lose your dignity. You can get over it, or wallow in misery.

Being a good wife goes beyond cooking a man's meals, giving him children, and being ready for sex even if you're dog-tired after keeping house. It's also about keeping your own space and respecting yourself. It's about knowing your worth and letting him know it too. It's about treating him like a king, but knowing you are the queen of your own destiny. Happiness is a choice, not a circumstance. If it's about love, fine. People do great things for love, but people also do the stupidest things for love. It's still about choosing how much you should love yourself.