m is for mama

Three days ago, I learned that I was pregnant. I could not stop smiling, but then I could not stop worrying. Part of me wishes I had taken the pills, and part of me wants to buy color-coordinated baby bottles next payday.

I've eaten KFC Caesar's Salad for the third time this week. I have been wanting to eat yogurt in the evenings. I am usually very sleepy in the afternoon, which gives me a hard time with paperwork. Then I could not sleep on the van on the trip home, which I have been doing for the last four months.

I have been to the maternity section of SM twice, checking out the clothes. I've picked out two sandals with low heels, though I will only be needing them by January or February next year.

There is a trip to Tokyo that I might join in November, I had planned to take the qualifying exams for an MBA degree in January, and we're buying a car in March, but being pregnant changes the plans.

This is so different from the time I had my first kid. Back then, I was so worried about the budget. There were monthly check-ups and vitamins, aside from the house rent and utility bills. We also needed to save up for the childbirth and hospital stay. I had one maternity pants and three dresses, which I had to buy so I would have something to wear in the office. Right now, my biggest worry would be getting to the hospital, period. There is a P2,500 pair of pants that I saw in a store yesterday. It would be nice to wear in the later months. I could buy it, but I didn't. I don't need an expensive wardrobe just to have another child.

I don't have violent moods, cravings for strange foods in the middle of the night, and aversion to perfume. I haven't had the chance to be pampered yet. But my husband has been very kind these days. Pregnancy has its desirable side effects.